Sunday, September 12, 2010

A Promise

9-13-2010
3 weeks in Gabs
I went to the dr this morning, and against my initial shock (because I wanted to go home so bad today), we decided that I should spend another week in the city. I can't go into details as to the reasons, but today marks the 3rd week I've been away, and I miss my village and my friends. Air conditioning, reliable water, movie theaters and popcorn, bars and restaurants are great, but I don't really care for those things right now.

The sink water leaks in my too-small hotel bathroom. Drip, drip, drip, strange noises and lights emit from my stylish windows. Where are the chickens and the donkeys in heat? the shooting stars and the awe-ing darkness outside? The air conditioner whirs. I keep it too low simply because I can. I contemplate sleeping naked because I dont want to wash my clothes in the hotel sink. I want to go home. Home. Which home you ask? New Xade, Chicago, any place the magic shoes decide to take me. Any place that will make me feel like myself again. But unless Pink Chacos miraculously turn magical after too many months of wear and tear, I can't.

So, instead, I am committing to staying. Staying and getting better so I don't have to spend another week in a plush hotel again. No matter how hard it gets. I promised a friend. I promised myself. I promised my fellow PCV's. I promised my village, they just don't know it yet.

I want to be a good PCV. I just don't know what that means anymore. Being a Peace Corps Volunteer definitely isn't what I thought it would be. It's not a walk in the park, it's a process of really getting to know people without losing yourself first, and for some of us, it seems to be taking forever. At the moment I wish I wasn't a type A personality, or all this would be so much easier.

(oh I don't mean sound so miserable, man I'm doing it again. I have a tendency to describe things as half empty. I'm not miserable, I swear. On the full side of things, the staff here has been amazing to me, I feel more supported by them than I have been supporting myself. It's good to know that there are so many people here who really will carry me if I need it. Plus, I get to spend another week around good food and great coffee and have a cleaning staff what will pick up after me in the morning. Electricity, phone service, running hot water, and internet service 24/7? Not to bad.)

You know I like my chicken fried
A cold beer on a friday night
A pair of jeans that fit just right
and a radio on...

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